Wa-ini imraatun khafat min baAAliha nushoozan aw iAAradan fala junaha AAalayhima an (surah Nisa: 128)

Tafseer Tafheem-ul-Quran by Syed Abu-al-A'la Maududi

(4:128) If *157 a woman fears either ill-treatment or aversion from her husband it is not wrong for the husband and wife to bring about reconciliation among themselves (by compromising on their rights), for settlement is better. *158 Man's soul is always prone to selfishness, *159 but if you do good and are God-fearing, then surely Allah is aware of the things you do. *160

Wa inimra atun khaafat mim ba`lihaa nushoozan aw i`raadan falaa junaaha `alaihi maaa ai yuslihaa bainahumaa sulhaa; wassulhu khair; wa uhdiratil anfusush shuhh; wa in tuhsinoo wa tattaqoo fa innal laaha kaana bimaa ta`maloona Khabeeraa

*157).The actual response to the query begins here. In order to appreciate the response fully one would do well to consider the query itself. In the days of Ignorance a man was free to marry an unlimited number of women, who had virtually no rights. When the preliminary verses of the present surah were revealed (see especially verse 3) this freedom was circumscribed
in two ways. First, the maximum number of wives was fixed at four. Second, justice (that is, equal treatment of wives) was laid down as a necessary condition for marrying more than one. This gives rise to the question whether a person is obligated by Islam to feel equally towards each of his wives, to love each to an equal degree, and treat them equally even in respect of sexual relationship. Such questions are especially relevant with regard to a husband one of whose wives might be, say, afflicted with either sterility, permanent sickness or who is incapable of sexual intercourse. Does justice demand that if he fails to live up to the standards of equality mentioned above that he should renounce his first wife in order to marry the second? Moreover, where the first wife is disinclined to agree to annulment of the marriage, is it appropriate for the spouses to make a voluntary accord between themselves, according to which the wife, towards whom the husband feels relatively less attracted, voluntarily surrenders some of her rights, prevailing upon her husband not to repudiate the marriage? Would such an act be against the dictates of justice? It is to questions such as these that these verses are addressed.
*158). It is better for the spouses to come to a mutual understanding so that the wife may remain with the same man with whom she has already spent part of her life.
*159). The 'selfishness' on the part of the wife is that even though she is conscious of the causes which have contributed to her husband's aversion towards her, she nevertheless expects from him the treatment that a husband accords to the wife that he loves. The 'selfishness' of the husband, on the other hand, lies in suppressing her unduly and curtailing her rights to an intolerable extent, merely because she is keen to continue to live with him even though she has lost her attraction for him.
*160). Here, too, God urges the male, as He usually does in such matters, to be magnanimous. God urges a man to treat his wife, who has probably spent a considerable number of years with him as his companion, with kindliness and grace in spite of the aversion that he has come to feel for her. He also urges man to love God, for if He were to deprive him of His loving care and blessing in order to punish him for his shortcomings, what place would he have under the sun?