Ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo inna min azwajikum waawladikum AAaduwwan lakum fahtharoohum wa-in (surah Taghabun: 14)

Tafseer Tafheem-ul-Quran by Syed Abu-al-A'la Maududi

(64:14) Believers, there are enemies to you from among your spouses and your off-spring, so beware of them. But if you forgive and overlook their offences and pardon them, then surely Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Compassionate. *29

Yaaa ayyuhal lazeena aamanooo inna min azwaaji kum wa awlaadikum `aduwwal lakum fahzaroohum; wa in ta`foo wa tasfahoo wa taghfiroo fa innal laaha ghafoorur Raheem

*29) This verse has two meanings. According to the first meaning, ii applies to most of those difficulties, which are encountered by many believing men from their wives and the women from their husbands and the parents from their children in following the way of God. It seldom so happens in the world that a man has a wife and a wife a husband, who are full companions and helpers of each other in the matter of faith and righteousness, and that both may also have such children as may be the comfort of their eyes as regards faith and deeds, morals and conduct. Hut generally it so happens that if the husband is righteous and honest, the wife and children look upon his honesty and piety and righteousness as a misfortune for themselves, and want that the husband and the father should earn Hell for their sake, and giving up the distinction between the lawful and the unlawful should provide means of luxury and enjoyment, sin and vice, for them in every passable way. On the contrary, many a time a pious believing woman happens to have a husband, Who does not at all approve her obedience to the Laws of God, and the children too, following in the footsteps of the father, make the wife of the mother miserable by their daviation and evil deeds. Then, particularly, when during the conflict between Islam and unbelief a man's faith demands that he should suffer losses for the sake of AIIah and this Religion, run risks, emigrate from the country or even endanger his life by joining the war against unbelief, the greatest hindrance in his way are the people of his own household.
The second meaning relates to those special circumstances which most of the Muslims were facing at the time these verses were sent down. and today also they are faced by every person who embraces Islam in a non-Muslim society. At that dine in Makkah and in other parts of Arabia a situation that was commonly being experienced was that a man would embrace Islam, but his wife and children would not only be disinclined to accept it but would try their best to press him to give up Islam Arid similar were the situations encountered by the women, the alone embraced Islam in their families,
Addressing the believers who may be confronted with either situation, three things have been impressed:
First, they have been warned as if to say: "Although front the worldly point of view. these are the dearest relations of man yet from the religious point of view, they arc .`your enemies." This enmity may he for the reason that they hinder you from good and induce you to do evil, or that they restrain you from belief and pull you towards unbelief, or that their sympathies are with he unbelievers. ana through you if they ever come to know any of the war secrets of the Muslims, they convey it to the enemies of Islam. Owing to these the nature and quality of enmity may vary, but in any case it is enmity; and if you hold your faith dearer to your heart, you should regard them as your enemies. In their love you should never forget that between you and them there stands the barrier of belief and unbelief, or of obedience and disobedience."
Then, it is said: "Beware of them." That is, "You should not ruin your eternal life for the sake of their worldly life. Let not their love so overwhelm you that they become a hindrance for you in your relationship with Allah and His Messenger and your loyalty to Islam. Do not place such reliance on them that the secrets of the Muslim community should come to their notice and through them reach your enemies only by your negligence and carelessness. This Is the Fame thing of which the Holy Prophet (upon whom be Allah's peace) has warned the Muslims in a Hadith: `A person will be brought up on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be proclaimed: `His wife and children ate up aII his good deeds'."
In the end, it is said: "If you pardon and overlook and forgive, Allah is surely AII-Forgiving, All-Merciful. " It means: "You are being made aware of their enmity so that you may beware of them and do your best to save your faith from them, This warning does not, however, mean that you should treat your wife and children harshly, or strain your relations with them so as w make your own and their domestic lift miserable and wretched For if you did so, two of the disadvantages would obviously result: first, it may close down every avenue to the reformation of the wife and children for ever; second, it may give rise to suspicions and misgivings against Islam in the society and the people around may form the impression that a Muslim turns unduly rigid and ill-tempered for his own children in his own house as soon as he has embraced Islam.
In this connection, one should also keep in mind that in the beginning when the people became Muslims, they encountered a special difficulty if their parents were unbelievers. They would press their children to give up the new Faith. They would face another difficulty when their wives and children (or in case of women, their husbands and children) persisted unbelief and would force them to abandon the Faith of Tnrth. About the first difficulty, instruction was given in AI-'Ankabut; 8 and Luqman; 14-15, saying: "Treat your parents well but if they press you to join with Me another about whom you have no knowledge, do not obey them at alI " About the second difficulty the Instruction has been given here, saying: "You must try to save your faith from your children and family members but do not treat them harshly, but rather politely and leniently." (For further explanation, see At-Taubah: 23-24; E N. 37 of AI-Mujadalah, E.N.'s 1 to 3 of Al-Mumtahanah; E.N. 18 of Munafiqun).